THE ATTACHMENT SERIES • PART III There is a kind of self-sufficiency that looks, from the outside, like strength. And for a long time, it was. The nervous system that learned to need nothing, to show nothing, to handle everything alone did exactly what it was built to do. What avoidant attachment costs you is […]

In the late 1970s, a young researcher and psychologist named John Gottman set out to understand why some marriages succeed and others fail. It was not, on its surface, an unusual question. Therapists had been asking versions of it for decades. But Gottman wanted to do something different. He wanted to measure it. What followed […]